They say you marry your dad. The idea of that has never bothered because, well, my dad is awesome. My sister married our dad in a lot of ways. Her husband is kind and passionate. He, like my dad, shows his emotions with little hesitation – it’s all out there! They are our mushy gushy men and we love them for it. I always wondered how my future husband would be like my dad. Would he be the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve? Would he be an athlete? Would he be fiercely loyal? Will he be neat and organized? Will he be spontaneous, generous, and hard working? What will his quirks be like? I’ve always noticed how my dad eats his cereal and the way he walks. My dad can laugh at himself. He can be stubborn but when you’re on the same side of that stubbornness you know you’re on the winning team. How could my future husband ever compare to this man?
In case you live under a rock and have not heard the news, I am getting married! #Engaged. My future husband is very different from my dad. You will never see him cry. In fact, I have never seen him cry! My future husband doesn’t take getting the car washed regularly very seriously nor does he care where he puts his shoes every night. My future husband leaves his clothes right where he takes them off. My dad is almost robotic in his routine, whereas my future husband could care less about having one at all. This of course drives me bananas but this is a story for another time.
People who know both of my guys always revert to the obvious traits that they have in common: they were both once high level athletes, they are sports fanatics and they like to gamble here and there. In really thinking about this, I have come up with a few more. They are both insanely generous. My dad is generous in an obvious way but also in a way that you’d only know if he raised you. He sent me to the best camps and schools but he was also generous with his time. He spent years coaching me and my friends, he drove us around, and dropped anything at work to be with me. He never missed a game. My future husband is that way – when you need him, he is there. He would drop everything to pick me or any of his friends up on the side of the road. Neither will hesitate to pick up the tab or splurge on the vacation because to them there is no better feeling than knowing the people they love enjoy their lives. They are both providers. They are both competitive which makes them successful at this provider game. They are both salesmen. They are both spontaneous. They are both kind-hearted, well-intentioned men.
One overriding trait they share is a certain X factor. When my future husband walks into a room heads turn, excitement flows. He has a strong presence. It is difficult to go somewhere he doesn’t know someone….or 50 someones. It is difficult to find a person who doesn’t like him. People seriously love him! My dad is the same way. We were once even out the country and someone recognized him! My dad is loved. For years I’ve had friends comment on how amazing he is. I’ve heard it from his employees, his clients, his classmates, his own friends old and new! What is interesting is that when I really analyze this, I can recognize how they handle this X factor differently. My future husband is boisterous and animated – he more or less announces his presence so that you couldn’t miss him even if you tried. In opposition it seems that my dad’s way about him is that if you ask him, I’m not sure he’d even recognize the extent of his X factor. However which way they go about it, people gravitate towards them. I too gravitate towards them for the same reason. They are men with a presence. They are men that make it impossible not to like them.
You already know that I have a kick ass father and you can imagine that I believe my future husband will make a great dad. I could sit here and rattle off characteristics about why but you already know those. What matters to me is that I feel it in my bones. I live by gut feelings and mine is telling me that what I loved about my father growing up are what my future, currently non-existent kids will love about my future husband one day. We will have our disagreements about taking out the trash and who is going to take the car to the shop but when it comes to the big life stuff he is solid. He is solid and while that is a testament to his upbringing, as far as this post is concerned, it matters because I see in him what I have seen my entire life through my dad.
To my future husband, I can’t wait to marry you! And to my dad, Happy Father’s Day! I love you both. My two favorite guys you will always be.