I sat down knowing the overall theme of what I wanted to write about but when it actually came time to put the pedal to the metal I found myself typing Katy Perry lyrics. I could not for the life of me recall how in the world I ever just sat down and wrote about something. In an effort to find inspiration I went back to some old posts and re-read them. After perusing a few from about two years ago I realized how much more together I am now than I was then. Why did this surprise me? Along with surprise, the most overwhelming feeling I had was of relief! Without even realizing it, I had come together as a human so much more so than I was then. Thank G.
I re-read posts about a 20-something chick (moi) wondering where she should live, what type of job she should have, and who she should spend her life with. Then there are those posts where I would declare, “Ok, now I live here, I work here, and I love him but is this the right place to live, the only place to work, or the right person to love?!” I had to laugh a little while reading because I can recall those feelings so vividly but I hadn’t realized how much they had subsided over time.
I gave some advice to a friend recently, “Pick one.” I told her. I could feel the stress coming from within her about all of the same topics that I had stressed about in those posts ridden with internal chaos of the who, what, when, and wheres in life.
About a year and a half ago I was forced to focus on the love part of the life equation. In my relationship we hit that 2 year itch – is this for real or are we moving on? We had to decide and together we stayed. Now, so far removed from that crossroad, I realize that the other decisions, like my job, my home address, my friends, my diet, everything seems way less overwhelming. I know that I have one of the biggies figured out. I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with. That is huge. Maybe for my friend that won’t be the first or the easiest of the pieces to figure out but maybe first she figures out that for sure she wants to work for company X or for sure she wants to live in X town.
For me, knowing that he and I will be together no matter what is something I can count on. I can exist and know that if I lose my job or move onto other one that he will still be there. I can know that while I still struggle with my zip code that whether that zip code changes or stays the same, he will still be there. It’s incredibly reassuring.
The same can be said for a place or a job, a little different of course but I hope you can see what I am getting at. Let’s say you decide that you absolutely need to live in LA. You can move to LA and know that whatever job you find, whatever man you date, that as long as you are in LA you are solid. You are where you are happiest. In doing so, you picked one.
So now you’ve picked one, your job as a different example, and it works out for awhile but then you want to change your mind – well that’s the best part isn’t it? Even if it’s just figured out for the next year, that’s one whole year that you aren’t worried about your job. In that year while that stress is off your plate, maybe you meet the guy! Pick one to focus on and let the others go. Once you do that, I’m almost certain that the one you let go originally will be the one that comes together. It’s just how it goes!