It’s simple: earn money. We are told every day that we need to earn money to live and be happy. We need to earn money so we can pay our rent and our Internet and water bills. We need to earn money so we can go out to dinner on Wednesday night and sign up for Down Dog Yoga. It’s simple: earn money. We earn money so we can travel to Florida, to buy new clothes, and buy gifts for a birthday girl. In my mind for the last two months or so it was so simple….earn money. Earn as much money as I possible can.
However simplicity is not so simple. To make such a simple task possible, I was juggling three jobs and trying to please three bosses. There is nothing simple about that at all. Especially when two of those bosses and two of those jobs are ones that I have personal relationships and ties to. I never wanted to let any of them down. I never wanted to have to tell any of them that I couldn’t make it on a day or time that one of them needed me to be there.
On a weekly basis my boyfriend tried to convince me to quit one of my jobs or to at least call out a day or two but I refused. I told him that I can’t just not show up or bail when one of those jobs was depending on my presence. To this argument he responded by saying, “One of the things I absolutely love about you is your insane work ethic. You are a reliable and dependable employee and person, but you can’t be dependable to a fault.” That statement kinda stuck with me until I finally gave my two weeks notice to one of the three jobs.
Never wanting to be the girl who needs to ask for rent money from her parents, I worked to the point that even my dad was yelling through the phone, “QUIT A JOB AND GET BACK TO YOGA!”
So, at times I will admit that I am dependable to a fault. At the expense of my health, my well-being, my previously kick ass yoga arms and ass, and my overall happiness, I was earning money and allowing everyone and their mother to depend on me.
By simply eliminating a job, I went to a yoga class and am writing a blog post for the first time in about two months. I’m back to having a smile on my face at the remaining two jobs, and I’m able to show the man who put up with my bitchiness every morning how happy I am to have him around. So as my Tanya Bo Banya would say, “EFF that NOISE!” because I need to be able to start depending on myself again. I hardly had any time for the things that make me truly happy, like blogging, practicing yoga, and having a clean room but I feel free again. I feel like I am slowly getting back to neutral.
Sassarella Says…being a dependable person is a wonderful thing. I know that my friends, family, co-workers, and bosses can rely on me for whatever they might need but at what cost? At the cost of my hot bod, my sleep, or my relationship? Nahhh, I think not.