The first time I fell hard and fast. A little less than a month into dating him I knew I loved him and that he loved me too. The second time I was in love was a slow progression over time. I loved him because of our history and because of our story. And the third time I fell in love, I fell hard and fast again. Exactly a month into it, I could feel myself starting to fall just as he was pulling away. So how fast do you fall? Seems to me that when I know, I fall right into it very early on. No one knows when a person to love is going to come along but when it does, ya just friggen know. You can feel it.
….Or do you? It would take a lot of authority for me to say that that’s the only way I can fall in love because who the hell really knows. I mean clearly it’s not the only way because there was one who I loved over time and not off the bat, however I would say that I always felt a strong pull towards him. He protected me, or so I thought he did. Anyway, that’s besides the point and the point is that I’m wondering how fast do you fall in love? How long does it take you? Does it take awhile because I would love a definitive answer to this question. Should I be in love by now? Should I not? Is it okay that I’m not? And could I be in the future? These are all questions that I am usually able to just intuitively know the answers to but every now and then I question myself and I start to look at each piece of the puzzle.
When I’m in love, I get giddy knowing that I know your favorite flavor of Snapple, Smart Water, or Gatorade.
When I’m in love, I will always want to hold your hand in the car.
When I’m in love, I need to hear you say, “What will make me happy is to see you happy.”
When I’m in love, I want everyone to know about it. I want them to know that this stud, yeah that one right there, chose me.
When I’m in love, I blush when I can see you subtly showing me off to your friends and family.
When I’m in love, I get excited for a weekly date night.
When I’m in love, I hate saying goodbye to you. Even if it’s just for a few hours.
When I’m in love, I love assuming and telling people, “oh yeah, we’ll both be there.”
When I’m in love, I’m comforted knowing how I’m getting home and who I’m going there with.
When I’m in love, I want to take showers with you.
When I’m in love, I’m impressed when you try to impress me.
When I’m in love, I like to keep things at your place because we know I’ll be there anyway.
When I’m in love, I’m satisfied knowing that even when you’re not saying a word I know what you’re thinking.
When I’m in love, I want to dress up for you.
And when I’m in love, I really want you to know about it and for you to be in love with me too.
Ok great but so what? I don’t have to be in love with a person to know his favorite flavor of Smart Water. So is it possible to be in love, or potentially in the future, if some of those things aren’t true at the moment? My gut says no and my gut is rarely, if ever, wrong. But what if I really want to be in love and really want all of those things to be true? Can it happen…maybe one day…eventually…how about down the road?