Please take note…

A Christie & Lauren Excursion
FOR DUMMIES

 A How-To Guide for Beginners

Chapter 1: The Plan
– Buy tickets
– Book hotel room
– Make 1,000 phone calls to each other in the days leading up to the event to discuss “the plan”
– Plan outfits ahead of time
– Make playlists on iPod
– Leave way too early
– Get lost and be thankful you left early
– Stop for moolah and food
– Change Facebook status to something fun & obnoxious
Chapter 2: Bring the Basics
– Sugar Free Red Bull
– Vodka (Absolut or Goose)
– Rold Gold Honey Wheat Pretzels
– Diet Coke
– Kelogg’s Special K Chocolate & Peanut Butter bars
– iPod & speakers
– Multiple outfit options, even though you’ve had it picked out for days
– Bronzer
– Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs in Tan Glow
– Black eyeliner
– Camera
– Credit Cards

Chapter 2: The Pre-Game
– Change the outfit you’ve had picked out for days
– Be thankful you both brought plenty of options
– Periodically take shots of vodka
– Chase them with Red Bull, a pretzel, and “the face”
– Calm Lauren down (she’ll think we’re being poisoned by the cups at the hotel)
– Calm Christie down (she’ll be convinced she still doesn’t like her outfit)
– Make sure Lauren waits to “Cheers!” before every shot
– Dance to Weezy, Gaga, Avicii, & Wynter Gordon
– Save half of whatever you bought to eat because Lauren will take two bites of hers, pick it apart, stare at it, and then decide, “Ehhh I can’t eat this”
– Pack a clutch – camera, phone, ID, $$, eyeliner, gloss, tickets, and room keys
– Get a little buzzed and talk about how long we’ve been friends
– Put the Speedies in the trunk
– Cut Christie off mid-sentence about the friendship because Lauren will undoubtedly start crying
– Re-do eyeliner and head out
Chapter 3: The Main Event
– Get the lay of the land
– Buy drinks
– Pick a spot on the dance floor and get moving
– Dance
– Jump up and down
– Dance
– Yell to “Ahhhh Veeeee Ciiiiiiii” 
– Sing to each other
– Dance
– Take pictures of us singing and dancing
– Dance
– Make a few friends
– Dance
– Shmooze the bouncers a little bit
– Introduce yourselves to everyone that works at the bar or club
– Dance
– Get backstage w/ the help of your new best friends, the bouncers
– Change your Facebook status to song lyrics and/or “BACKSTAGE!!”
– Muploads are a must
– Sweat your ass off dancing
– Talk about how you’re getting a great work out
– Dance

Chapter 4: The Post-Main Event Adventure
– Walk to another bar
– Stop for drunk food on the way
– Make an entrance at the second bar
– Order drinks
– Have them paid for by the guy sitting next to you
– Laugh uncontrollably
– Dance
– Make friends with the bouncers / staff members here too
– End up on stage with the DJ
– Sing “My Heart Will Go On”
– Wish you hadn’t just tried to sing “My Heart Will Go On”
– Wish a 21 year old a happy birthday and get him a shot…..on the house!
– Text Mama Kath pictures of Lauren being ridiculous
– Tell everyone at the bar, via microphone, that you are an accountant
– Sing “Jessie’s Girl” very loudly until the DJ gives in and plays it
– Talk about how he finally played the song just to shut you up
– Stop moving for a minute and realize it’s time to go home
– Call a cab
– Call the driver “Sir” and thank him endlessly
– Meet Dean, Ronnie’s look-a-like from the Jersey Shore at the hotel (yes, that really happened)
– Change into Soffee shorts and pass out

Chapter 5: Really?

– Wake up in the middle of the night
– Giggle
– Chat about the night
– Replay every funny thing that happened
– Recall funny quotes from the night
– Wish that someone could deliver a G2 Gaterade
– Munch on the Kellogg Special K bars
– Talk about bodily functions
Chapter 6: The Aftermath
– Wake up early
– Complain about the headaches
– Check out of the hotel
– Stumble in to the WaWa for food and drink
– Hit the highway
– Slowly, but surely, remember all of the other absurd things that happened
– Anxiously check for “oopsies” in your call log, text messages, and Facebook
– Have a few regrets
– Get over it with a good song
– Upload pictures to Facebook
– Comment and/or “Like” the pictures
– Make one your profile picture

 “On a scale of 1 to funny, this is NOT funny”
What’s funny is that depending on the excursion, the details on that list change a bit but for the most part you can be sure that a majority of those things always happen. Lauren is my favorite. Why? Well, because I like her better than the rest! On Sunday night, Lauren and I went to see Avicii at Surf Club. Neither of us knew what to expect from the day into night but even before we left the hotel room I made sure to let her know that I was already having a great time. Coming off of such an amazing experience at the Mumford & Sons’ concert, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to enjoy such a completely different atmosphere. Here’s the thing though, live music is live music. Watching a performer live in the moment and successfully engage the crowd is the same no matter what the environment. I was pleasantly surprised at how involved with the music I got. I fist pumped, I chanted, and I did the back bend and the head and hair back, look up to the ceiling and sing thing too. Passion for what you love is the same whether you’re playing the guitar or spinning a turntable.

Sassarella Says…beat to your own drum. Lauren and I may have our quirks and we’re constantly wondering if the stuff we find funny and fabulous really is funny and fabulous or if we just think it is….but who cares?! The pleasure we get from spending time together and from the weird crap we do is all that matters. Beat to your own drum, we sure do! I think Avicii sums it well in “Levels”:

“Ohhh, sometimes, I get a good feeling, yeah
And a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no no
I get a good feeling, yeah”
Whatever gives you that good feeling, neva eva let it go.
Aka sorry Laur, but you and live music are stuck with me.
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About sasssays

The trials, the tribulations, and the triumphs of a sassy and sophisticated 20 something girl
This entry was posted in dj cfabb, it's a girl thang and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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