Runnin’ Around: "GTI: Gym, Tan, I’m Not Buying It" – Pauly D

[Before I dive into this post, I’d just like to say for the record that I’m NOT crazy because they are all HAUNTING ME this week. I was walking around in Georgetown the day after the post hook-up encounter shpiel and bumped into #4! UCK!!!!!]

So now on to today’s issue. Last week I got on the scale and was NOT a fan of the number I saw staring back at me. Anytime I bring this up most people respond with, “You’re nuts! You look fine!” but it’s that layer of winter, holiday season schmutz that I have yet to get rid of that’s driving me crazy! It’s those pounds that an outsider probably doesn’t notice but you notice every time you try to get dressed…piece of crap little pounds, I could KILL YOU! I digress.

Last week I finally decided to seriously do something about it because for the last month or so I’ve been “getting serious” but it was a fake serious (you know what I’m talking about, I’m sure). So to define “seriously getting serious” I worked out six out of seven days this week, consciously took notice and wrote down everything that I ate, and even got back into the habit of drinking industrial size bottled water all week.

Ain’t it the truth?

As the days went by I started noticing a difference in my face and booty. When gauging my weight loss or gain, there are certain spots on my body that I notice fluctuate first. In the shower, the one place I notice is the spot on the back of my arm right above my elbow. (Am I sounding crazy yet? Meghan likes to jokingly ask me from time to time if I notice any change in my ear lobe?! She’s funny). Anyway so I’m in the shower this week: “Ohhh yeah I’m coming back! The arms are skinnier, feeling good, yada yada”. WOOT!

Then I was putting make-up on and noticed less of that “side face” BS that happens. My sister and I have expressed a severe dislike for this fun side effect of Christmas lasagna and post-Sona Cluck-U chicken. We get this little crease on the side of our cheeks when we smile. Uck, gross. This week I saw that all going away. YAY!

And finally I put “the uniform” on to take a walk before LuAnn arrived to take me home to Jersey. “The uniform” is leggings and a t-shirt and by golly oh my the butt is definitely smaller! I was walking around and check this out, when I was walking, I could actually feel less ass pop out. WOO HOO!

So I’m feeling like a new woman. I’m super excited that I’m going into Easter weekend in a good groove. My butt, the spot above my elbow, and the side cheek are all fading fast…even my g.d. ear lobe felt smaller! On my way to the scale, which I only get on once a week like all the books and diets say, I was anxious to see just how many pounds I had lost. I step up and saw that I lost a whole 0.2 pounds! COME AGAIN?! No way. Come on. I step off and step back on hoping some mechanical error occurred on the scale… -0.2. I could feel my blood boiling, the frustration building, and on top of it all my allergies kicked in from the skinny girl walk I had just taken outside. There’s no way, there’s just no way that I didn’t even lose a pound! I mean 0.2 is the difference that a good pee could make! I didn’t even have Tuscany pizza on the corner with George at 3am all weekend…this is NOT POSSIBLE! For the first time in my entire life, and I kid you not, I have “seriously gotten serious” and not lost somewhere between 3 and 5 pounds in one week. Gaaarrrreeeeaaaaaat.

I walked away from the scale and for the rest of the day, my face felt gross, my butt felt HUGE, and the spot on the back of my arms was back! In a split second I went from skinny girl heaven to chubby kid hell. I was telling my mom about the ordeal and as she’s cracking up she says, “Ok, you really are crazy! That’s all in your head!” Since I’ve never been naturally thin and have always had to consciously be aware of my eating and running habits to stay in shape, I know how this goes. There are some weeks that it just doesn’t happen for ya. My body is retaining a lot of water right now and my buhbies are on the bigger side…awesome, my arms are skinnier but my buhbies are watermelons. Fantastic (can you hear the sarcasm?)

The moral of the story is that I’m not buying it. I really and truly see and feel differences in my body. I’m more toned from running all week and there’s definitely less ass to grab on! Good grief. I’m home in Jersey for the next few days and here’s my plan…GTI: Gym, Tan, I’m Not Buying It because I know the scale is effed up and I’m not going to let it bring me down. I’m going to GTD: Gym, Tan, Drink all weekend with my best girly girls and impatiently wait for Wednesday to come so I can get back on the scale to see that horrible number go down. I’m also going to secretly wish I was a boy so I could eat whatever I want, but cut out soda, and lose ten pounds in an hour. Whatever, I’m not bitter or anything….

I know there’s gotta be a least one of you feeling my pain and are currently trying to drop some. If that’s the case then all I have to say is….godspeed, my friend, godspeed!

Currently on the “seriously get serious” playlist:
“TNT – Invasion Over Berlin” – by The Fabulous Beatmashers (AC/DC vs.
Spencer & Hill vs. Three 6 Mafia vs. Black Eyed Peas
vs. Run DMC vs. Ying Yang Twins)
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About sasssays

The trials, the tribulations, and the triumphs of a sassy and sophisticated 20 something girl
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