There aren’t enough hours in a day or even a week to accomplish all three. For the last two weeks I chose “good grades” and “social life” which is evident by the dark circles under my eyes, the cough, and the headaches. By the time Friday night came around, Sassarella was running on empty. I woke up Saturday morning and headed home to New Jersey for a much needed break and a good night’s sleep. On the train ride home I got to thinking about how I could not wait to be in the front seat of my mom’s car. The front seat of my mom’s car, it doesn’t matter which car just as long as she is driving and we are the only two in the car is a sanctuary. I can only assume that after college the need to choose two will remain but the options might change from “school work” to “go to work” so it is essential for us all to have a sanctuary. The front seat of Lu Lu Belle’s car is a safe zone. I don’t have the responsibility of driving (first of all), I do my best talking and thinking the car, and whenever I’m in the car with my mom it usually means I’m headed home to Flo Po.
I have multiple sanctuaries. Where else do I feel comfortable, safe, relaxed, or even powerful and secure?
The pitcher’s circle. I can remember in high school dealing with the stress of the school day, worrying about the hours of studying and tutoring sessions I had after the game, and the over-whelming stress of simply being a girl in high school. All of that seemed to go away when I stepped into “My Circle”, put my feet on the white rubber, and fiddled with the ball and seams in my glove. Since I was essentially the only pitcher for four years and the first person to pitch on the school’s new field, it was “My Circle”. I loved pitching because I had control of the game and felt the power of that position. I also enjoyed the strategical aspect of calling pitches and assessing a batter. All of that aside, the circle was my domain and felt little to no insecurities or doubts on the mound by the end of my high school career. I know that if I stepped back into a pitcher’s circle today that those feelings would come rushing back to me.
The back seat of Gabbie’s car. Not in a Riding in Cars with Boys kind of way but whenever Gabbie, Lauren and I would go anywhere in Gabbie’s car I always preferred the back. I liked to lie down across the entire seat and look up out the open window as we drove (usually to the beach). The music, the sun, the wind, and the sound of my two best friends making conversation in the front seat was a comfort that I’ll never replace. I was the glue that held the trio together but I enjoyed “taking a back seat” every now and then. It was nice to hear them talk and get excited over a song with little input from me, the glue. We don’t spend as much time together now as a trio but when we do I’m always going to “shotty” the back seat.
The post-shower cool down. Guys won’t understand this but getting out of the shower and having to blow dry long hair in 80 degree summer weather is obnoxious. When I am home for the summer, I like to get out of the shower, blast the music, and lie down on the floor of my room with the windows open and the over-head fan on until I cool down. The world stands still for a few minutes. I can’t really describe this feeling exactly but if ya try it, you’ll know what I’m saying.
The streets of Georgetown and Washington, DC. When the weather is warm, or even scorching hot, a good healthy run on the streets is just what I need. A run in DC can last hours as opposed to a brutal session on a treadmill because I can explore areas that I have never seen before. Then again, if I’m feeling tired or in a hurry and just want to stick to the streets of Georgetown, I’m comforted by my “townie” status. It is difficult to run on M Street, Wisconsin Ave, and the side streets without waving to the many police officers, workers, and peers I see walking by or in the windows. I luuuurrrveeee it.
The final sanctuary currently in my life is the Bolt Bus. The Bolt Bus on a Monday afternoon is relatively empty so I have a full seat to myself, my iPod, my laptop, and four or five hours of zero commitment. My roommates and I always talk about how in college there is the “should be” feeling. The “should be” feeling is the guilt that consumes us when we should be doing work but we’re watching The Bachelor or when we should be in the library but instead we’re having that second helping of fro yo in the cafeteria. The should be feeling is miserable but when I’m on that bus there is no place else I could possibly be and nothing else I could possibly be doing. Sanctuary.
At any given time new sanctuaries are discovered. For example, during my prime at Nonna’s two summer ago there was no place that made me happier than a super busy and chaotic Saturday night shift. Similar to “My Circle”, the Nonna’s dining room was my domain. It was my puzzle of people and tables that had to be put together in a timely and orderly fashion. If I do say so myself, I was a rockin’ hostess with the mostess. Another example was phase I went through last spring when I spent every Friday at The Bean Counter doing work and drinking the amazing coffee. I felt comfortable and at ease in the usually deserted back patio. And just a few weekends ago, I felt the wonderful feeling of sanctuary at The Godfather with my parents or even coming back to Rhino late night and knowing I’m “home”. It doesn’t really matter where it is as long as you get that feeling. The feeling that nothing can bother you, you have complete peace and serenity, and that your insecurities, your doubts, and your stresses are relieved and forgotten about for even just a few minutes.
This weekend accomplished just what I needed it to. I had a nice Italian dinner at Fiorino in Summit with my parents, hung out with my Luc, and got some sleep. Sanctuary, my behbies, sanctuary.
See all ya’ll biotches in the District!