While at home, I work out at the fabulous Lifetime Fitness in Florham Park. I go on the same treadmill every time and if someone is on it, it throws off my entire workout. I like this treadmill because it is in an awesome people watching spot. When Lauren and I go to the gym together, we almost fall off the g.d. machines because we’re so busy looking around at everyone else and at each other. If particular trainers, “the guy in the Under Armour body suit”, or “the guy that’s really cute with the blah blah” is there, we look at each other and giggle like little girls. The gym is more of a “see who’s there” experience as opposed to a “get sweaty and shed pounds” experience.
So today I was on my usual treadmill checking things out. I should also mention that I tend to get really into certain songs and dance a little with my hands while I’m running (don’t judge, it’s what gets me through!). Anyway, I went at a weird time so not many people were there but I did notice a meathead looking dude in all black (me likey) and thought “hmm how you doin’?” I usually walk around with my ipod on, which is an indication that I don’t want to be spoken to, however today my ipod died in the last minute of my workout. I walked over to the water fountain, ipod less, to get a quick drink before going to shower. Meathead dude comes up to the water fountain next to me and says, “So, treadmill is your thing, huh?” I replied, “Uhh yeah, I guess so.” I fiddled with my water bottle to give him another few seconds to come up with something better to say when he says, “I saw you rockin’ out…” wait for it…..”I also saw your ass.” BOOM. There it was. He actually just said “I also saw your ass”.
Now there could be days or phases in my life that I would think his comment is disgusting, but kinda hot, and I would totally go with it and say something saucy like “Really? Well let me see yours.” Or something way less lame than that. But that day was not today. I turned to him and said, “Oh yeah? And what’s your thing? Pig-headed pick up lines at the water fountain?” SASS-A-RELL-A. Meathead dude muttered something along the lines of “woah whatever” and we went our separate ways.
I’m not trying to put meatheads down, trust me, I have a weird thing for them, but this was like WTF?! Was he expecting me to fall weak at the knees or strip my clothes off right there? Whatever.
He was cute so if he followed up my sass comment with a clever, Logan Huntzberger response we might have walked away from a bickering match thinking “that was kinda fun, let’s do that again sometime”. Or better yet, couldn’t he have just said, “Hi. My name is something other than Chris, Tom, Rob, or anything starting with the letter J (please, give me a new name for goodness sake). I live in the area, I have a great job, I’m in my late 20s to early 30s, I’m not married, and I’d love to take you out to Nobu tonight by private jet….oh, and I’ll give you my AMEX so you can go get a DVF dress and LV bag to wear tonight.” I mean, is that too much to ask? Couldn’t he have just said that instead of “I also saw your ass”. I kid, I kid he didn’t need to say awwwllll of that but “I saw you rockin’ out….I’m (blank) what’s your name” would have worked just fine. I kinda want to see him there again. I have to come up with something funny and fabulous to say to him. Any ideas?!
but I leave you with the words of Carrie Bradshaw,