No music. Yup, that’s right, I went for a run without music. It was a very strange experience. First of all, I moved at about half speed. Secondly, I was very aware of my surroundings and even felt a little awkward running by people. Was it obvious to everyone that I was running for exercise and not just running for the sake of running to get somewhere? Me so nakey without headphones.
Anyway, I took careful notice of the people on the streets and to put it delicately, there are some unique people in this world. I had this same thought in Penn Station yesterday. Except, who am I to call the girl that looks like she hasn’t showered in a week or the grown man with a bright orange backpack and dress pants hemmed up to his ankles unique? Especially when the first thing I look for on them is whether or not they have a wedding band on their left ring finger. Is that not one of the most shallow things you’ve ever heard? Think how I feel, I’m the one who said it! Honestly though, I look for the rings to see if there is someone out there who declared to the world that despite his ankle length pants she loves him until the end of the time. Not to say that if the person in question isn’t loved if he or she isn’t married but still, I feel better knowing for sure that someone loves her despite her greasy hair. In a society so focused on appearance, what the heck did those people on the street think when they saw me run by? I could care less but I was thinking about it yesterday and today because coming back to DC means coming back to “The DC Christie.”
Last week, a friend commented on how happy I am while I’m working at Rhino and my overall persona the last three months. She remarked on how I carry myself as such a fun, strong, positive, upbeat, and friendly person. She jokingly followed it up by asking: “Aren’t you exhausted?” YES, good God, YES. Being happy is fantastic and I’ve loved it but I’m taking a break for a few days.
Example A: Over the weekend, I ripped into a friend, excuse me I mean ex-friend, via BBM. No more Miss Nicey Pants. Don’t get me wrong, this person deserved it and it was a long time coming but it felt great to let out some rage. Rage that’s been bottled up inside from week after week of: “Yes, of course, let me pick up those half eaten wings you dropped on the floor and bring you 3 more pitchers of beer while I’m at it….no fricken problem.”
Example B: I let my professor who has pissed me off all semester have it this morning. He dared to question my PSU term paper topic. I fought back the lump in my throat and the tears welling behind my eyes and it came out as straight frustration. (Poor Prof Mashi. I told him I’m exhausted and apologized for getting so excited. We talked it out, he’s chill.)
When and how is it socially acceptable to be a witch with a b? I don’t always want to be strong and happy. I finally let it go and allowed myself to “witch it out” at my friend, let myself be vulnerable, even a little sad, and a whole lotta frustrated with my professor and I gotta say, I feel relieved. I just asked you when and how it’s okay to do all of that? For me, it’s for the next 2 days in DC. I don’t feel like being nice for a day or two, so pick up your own g.d. wings. What I’m saying is let it go every now and then because it feels good. I’m choosing to believe that it’s totally acceptable for a person to take a short vacay from her usual persona.
Anyway, this started because I ran today for the first time in days. My butt should be back to normal size already, right? Let’s check. (Checking myself out right now) Hmm, k so see ya for Detox Day 2 tomorrow. Ugh.